The Story So Far: Life in 2017 is dangerous for the RAFA Stingers. On the run yet still attempting to ply their trade when they can. Life was so much easier at the turn of the century right up until 2007. Zared was kidnapped by mobsters The Bangkok Kokbangers, who subsequently bet huge amounts on a Stingers league title. To avoid seeing the Stinger legend mutated into a ladyboy and put to work on the Bangkok streets, those magnificent men in their flying machines had to seal a 4th consecutive title. Oh and them Kokbangers were gonna pop round for a bit of revenge on the rest of the team if they ‘koked’ it up.
Week 1. The Stingers were understandably nervous as Dog explained the full extent of the Kokbangers threat. So much so that Dog briefly pondered signing up the oblivious Merv and Frank. However if news of that ever reached the captive Zared he’d no doubt be booking himself for the ladyboy ‘make-over’ immediately. And anyhow, there were already two new signings to bed into the team ethic. Gee, previously a villainous Original, had been released on a free transfer. Homeless, wet and looking dishevelled he was found curled up on the front porch of ‘The Shack’. “Please Mr Dog, let me play for you” begged Gee. Dog paused for a minute to think through the request before pulling out a registration form and pen and shouting “Sign here – YES WE’VE GOT FIVE PLAYERS NOW!”. A later version of this story, as told by a deranged madman on magic mushrooms (Guess Whoooooooo!), indicates that Gee was only signed on the orders of the RAFA management. Apparently his prolonged presence on the front porch of the club was preventing ‘The Old Biddy With The Mobility Scooter (TOBWTMS)’ entering. Being a hardened drinker (That’s TOBWTMS, not Gee), they faced financial ruin and were prepared to let Gee sleep under the pool table rather than lose such a customer. That story was debunked as recently as 2012 when TOBWTMS won the women’s 100 metre hurdles at the London Olympics proving that a curled up Gee would have posed no obstacle!
The Stingers other recruit for that opening game was more of a purchase than a signing. By 2007 the Stingers were already dipping their big toes into the murky pool of underworld behaviour. In fact it had all begun some years earlier when they got involved in the trafficking of slaves. Word has it that a young boy called Mark was sold by his parents to Dog and subsequently shackled in his shed for the next 7 years. An escaped ex-slave, who went by the name of Cobley, revealed in a TV documentary “The Evil of Pool Players”, that slave-masters would keep up to half a dozen lads in squalid conditions whilst forcing them to ‘dish up’. The best slaves were allowed some freedom, whilst the rest were either never seen again or found playing at The Herald. The Stingers latest purchase was from the same man that sold Mark. The new slave turned out to be his brother, Jamie, who later became world champion in 2010. Who says slavery is bad?
Week 1’s offering on the pool table was a straightforward affair. A bitch slapping of a newly promoted team was in order, which is actually in the rules you know:
15.1 All newly promoted teams must be bitch-slapped by The RAFA Stingers
Dog was first out the blocks. To the bar that is. Upon realising he had to pot some balls aswell, he got down and errr, potted some balls. Jamie potted some more, ChapDog – fresh an enormous scam involving Insurance companies and Shooters – potted some too. Gee was awoken from under the table and continued the running theme of the evening and not to be left out Jody also joined in. The Red House, for they were the opponents of the evening, reminded us they were in the building by winning the 6th, but Mark put a stop to all the comeback malarkey by making it 6-1. Other frames were won and lost but that didn’t matter to the Kokbangers. They were one step closer to pulling off a massive betting coup and Zared was one step closer to freedom. Legend has it that despite a comfortable victory when the pizzas arrived there was a chilling message spelt out in pepperoni: “Beat Roman Park or You’re Pork, Love BK xxx”. Whatever you say about Perfect Pizza, they certainly gave you a lot of meat for your money.
Wednesday 28 February 2007
Welcome to the year 2017
In 2010, a crack commando pool team was sent to prison for a crime they didn’t commit (OK, maybe we did it ). They promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade (Great Yarmouth Open Prison) to the Milton Keynes underground (you tell me!?). Today, still wanted by the EPA, they survive as pool players of fortune. If you have a problem, if no-one else wants to play for you, and if you can find them, maybe you could hire the RAFA Stingers.
Ten years ago (2007) the Stingers were just a simple pool team. Yes, simple, they had a joint IQ of 23. No-one could foresee the downfall of Dog Hannibal, Howling Mad Jody, Graham ‘BA’ Bright and Andy ‘Face’ Chapman. Fortunately the other Stingers at the time struck lucky. The McGoogle boys careers were in the ascendancy and both were absent on that fateful night in 2010 when the ‘Yarmouth Incident’ occurred. Big McGoogle was sorting a new property deal – his portfolio of rented accommodation expanding quicker than Dog’s waistline. Mini McGoogle had other commitments following his 1st World 8-Ball title and the subsequent exhibitions that went with it.
February 2007 was perhaps the start of the decent into lawlessness. It came when Dog received an email from the far east. This usually meant news of the globe-trotting drug-smuggling Stinger, Zared. But this email was different. Written in basic English was a message from notorious asian Mafioso types The Bangkok Kokbangers. Dog gulped. He knew of these mean mothers. Illegal betting syndicates were their forte and as he read and re-read the email it was clear that Zared had been caught up in such activities. The crux of it all was that the Kokbangers had wagered a large sum on The Stingers winning a 4th title in a row. To make sure of a return on their investment, they’d kidnapped Zared. No title meant Zared would be turned into a ladyboy and forced into prostitution until half the money was made back. The Kokbangers would then be paying a visit for the remainder…
Next time on StingerBlog, we rewind to February 2007 and the opening night of the season.
Ten years ago (2007) the Stingers were just a simple pool team. Yes, simple, they had a joint IQ of 23. No-one could foresee the downfall of Dog Hannibal, Howling Mad Jody, Graham ‘BA’ Bright and Andy ‘Face’ Chapman. Fortunately the other Stingers at the time struck lucky. The McGoogle boys careers were in the ascendancy and both were absent on that fateful night in 2010 when the ‘Yarmouth Incident’ occurred. Big McGoogle was sorting a new property deal – his portfolio of rented accommodation expanding quicker than Dog’s waistline. Mini McGoogle had other commitments following his 1st World 8-Ball title and the subsequent exhibitions that went with it.
February 2007 was perhaps the start of the decent into lawlessness. It came when Dog received an email from the far east. This usually meant news of the globe-trotting drug-smuggling Stinger, Zared. But this email was different. Written in basic English was a message from notorious asian Mafioso types The Bangkok Kokbangers. Dog gulped. He knew of these mean mothers. Illegal betting syndicates were their forte and as he read and re-read the email it was clear that Zared had been caught up in such activities. The crux of it all was that the Kokbangers had wagered a large sum on The Stingers winning a 4th title in a row. To make sure of a return on their investment, they’d kidnapped Zared. No title meant Zared would be turned into a ladyboy and forced into prostitution until half the money was made back. The Kokbangers would then be paying a visit for the remainder…
Next time on StingerBlog, we rewind to February 2007 and the opening night of the season.
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